Guilty

I have a confession to make. I’m guilty.

I have not published Chapter 11 of my weekly web novel, How I Met Dr. Anthony Sparker last week.

I have not completed Week 9 of my Podrunner interval program for my DisneyPrincess Half-Marathon training.

I have not edited my manuscript in quite a while now.

But you know what I’m not guilty of?

Getting deep in my relationship with my family, and getting involved in the community.

And this is another confession I make.

For two years since we got here in Texas, I have hibernated in my little monastery.

​I kept out of other people’s affairs, school affairs, or home association affairs.

I minded my own business until God said, “Mind My business.”

“What is Your business, Lord?” I said.

“Build My Kingdom on earth so people will seamlessly transition from the mortal life to the immortal life. Be my undercover change agent. Plant the yeast in an unobtrusive manner. Season the lives around you with just the right amount of salt. Be my mouth, hands, and heart. Love one another as I love you.”

And a sword pierced my heart. Indeed I have loved God and tried to be faithful to my vows to Him. And I used this as an excuse not to be involved in the community, for fear that I would neglect my most important vows for things that I am not bound to in the eyes of God.

These vows include the vows my parents and godparents took on my behalf during my baptism and confirmation, which I have renewed with my conversion to the faith at age 21.

God first in everything.

The moment I wake up each day, I say “Good morning, Lord,” and pray. And the moment I close my eyes each day, I say, “Good night, Lord,” after I recap my day.

I try. And sometimes fail. My batting average is improving though.

And at 27, I took another vow. The vow of matrimony. I vowed to take care of my husband, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death unite us in love.

And at 28 and 33, I vowed to raise my children as good Catholic Christians through their baptisms.

And it has not been an easy task. And adding the writing ministry in this bowl of vows distracted me from my binding vows.

I fumble in my spiritual journey to be obedient to God’s perfect will. I often make mistakes in my discernment. And often find myself lacking in the grace to carry out His purpose. But God is faithful and pulls me back each time.

The journey to be of one mind and heart with my husband had been a tug of war and peace. He was Mr. Right. And I was Mrs. Always Right. But love has managed to pull us through. And the God of love makes the knot unbreakable.

The journey to provide light and flavor to my children’s lives was not a walk in the park either. Sometimes I beam the light straight to their eyes and I put too much salt for their taste.

Lately, the Lord has held my hand and led me to the Path of Serenity, in the hands of His mother who walked the earth in the most unobtrusive manner. She kept her lids lowered, humble and meek, and went about the business of her Son, even when it was not convenient, or clear, and even when it led her to the foot of the cross.

Prudence. Restraint. Pondering heart. These are the graces I sought for the Lady to teach me. These are the traits that helped her walk the Way of her Son, the Way of the Cross, and led her to His glory.

With these traits, I have come to accept the things that block me from writing my web novel, things that hinder me from editing my manuscript, and the things that delay me from completing the running program.

First things first.

God’s perfect timing is not mine to dictate. It is His.

My task, my daily bread, is to listen to His call in the Present Moment. Where does He call me to love?

Each yes brings me closer to my purpose, my call, my destiny, and God’s dream in me.

What about you? Share your thoughts at [email protected].

WHAT’S NEW?

I started a closed group in Facebook for those who want to get notification whenever I publish the Daily Devotionals. If you want to be part of that group, sign up here. I don’t want to spam people’s inboxes, so if you want to add your friend or family to the group, send them the link, and they need to take action to be included.

Please pray with me and for me, that I remain faithful to the Lord’s call in the present moment, as I pray for you and with you.

May you spend the rest of the day with the Lord whom You will encounter in your loved ones and people He will send your way today.

Our daily bread is to do the will of the Father today.

God bless you and your family’s Sunday!